Always You
by fallen angel lost
Summary: Chapter 7 Revised + Epilogue // Kaoru's getting married . . . but not to Kenshin. **Complete**
1. Confusion

=Author's Note= My very first anime fic ever. Please don't be too harsh. I'll be honest, I've yet to actually see this series, but I can't wait. ^__^  
  
=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 1 -----------------------------  
  
The room was entirely enveloped by the settling darkness of the night. The only indication of light came from the rising moon, which shone through the window, bathing her upturned face in a milky white glow.  
  
"Kaoru-dono?" Taking her silence as a gesture to continue, "You missed dinner and Sessha was worried th-" He was interrupted by a quiet, "Daijoubu, Kenshin." He sensed the sudden hesitance in her voice as his name left her lips; as if it pained her to say it. Bowing his head slightly, he accepted her unspoken dismissal and began to slide her door shut. What stopped him was something anyone else, without years of training and experience as he had had, would've missed. It was the sound of a teardrop hitting the wooden floor.  
  
Kaoru was crying.  
  
Kenshin quickly made his way over to the petite figure huddled by the window and knelt beside her. Pulling her into his embrace, he rubbed her back gently, murmuring words of comfort. "What is it, Kaoru?" Inwardly, the young girl smiled briefly at the dropping of the honorific.  
  
"It's nothing." She wanted nothing more than to just stay right where she was, safe and secure in his arms. To feel the beating of his heart and the whispering of sweet promises.  
  
"Iie. You're crying. Tell me, please?" The unspoken words were there. It was just like him to always want to make things better for her, to protect her. You couldn't solve my problems this time, Kenshin, Kaoru thought sadly. How could you take away the pain when you're the one who caused it? Reluctantly, she pulled away and looked up, trying to muster a smile. Kenshin wiped away her tears, gazing at her in concern, unaware of the open tenderness that had surfaced in his eyes.  
  
Remainders of tears clung to her soft dark lashes, framing those beautiful azure eyes that drew him in with their childlike innocence. Kaoru. Sweet pure Kaoru, Kenshin thought as he brushed her damp eyes with his lips, tasting the saltiness of her sorrow. She clung to him. And almost reluctantly tilted her face up, as he continued to press soft kisses all over, slowly making his way towards her mouth. Kaoru's breathing quickened rapidly as he inched nearer, her eyes closed contently, beckoning him . . . and then suddenly he was being pushed away.  
  
"Oro?" Kenshin lay sprawled on the floor, a nice big sweatdrop forming on the back of his head as he glanced over at Kaoru in confusion. She was watching him with a look of despair on her face. He could tell she was mentally berating herself for shoving him. "Kaoru-dono?" She seemed to stiffen slightly and turned away from him, but not before he caught the expression of pain flare within her eyes.  
  
"Please go." He reached over, touching her arm, but she pulled away as if stung. "Please, Kenshin! Leave me alone." A mixture of bewilderment and hurt flashed in the rurouni's eyes for a moment, but then he stood and reluctantly made his way out of her room.  
  
With a glance at the closed door, Kaoru turned her gaze back out the window, allowing more tears to roll down her face. He was always drawing her in and then pushing her away. Things would never change. It was always the same. He would comfort her, hold and kiss her, but then the next day, if would be as if nothing had happened. She wanted to take her bokken and wallop some sense into that incredibly dense head of his, but it wouldn't do any good. She'd done it a couple of times, but in the end, without even asking why, Kenshin would just apologize profusely for upsetting her. She just didn't know if she'd be able to deal with it anymore. Kenshin could protect her from all the evils in the world, but there was one thing that he couldn't protect her from: himself.  
  
The befuddled redhead sat on the porch, leaning against the wall not too far from Kaoru's room. Millions of thoughts ran through his mind. What was wrong with Kaoru? Why had she been crying? Why all the pain? Having been close enough to her, Kenshin remembered the strong mixture of emotions that she had emitted through her ki. There had been so much unbalance that it had made him dizzy and he had had to shut himself off from it in order to focus on the girl in front of him. She'd always been open with him, but lately she'd been shutting him out. Her rejection towards him tonight had been a slap to the face. He couldn't understand it. Where had he gone wrong? Kaoru . . . Doushite?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The sun had just risen, indicating the start of a new day. Golden red rays of warmth washed over the rurouni's face, waking him from his troubled lumber. His eyes were still heavy with sleep, but the soft sound of a shoji door being opened and closed caught his attention. Kenshin's eyes fluttered open just in time to see a familiar figure quietly padding away. That was odd, she was never usually up this early. "Kaoru-dono?" She stopped in midstride, frozen as if a child caught with her hand in a cookie jar. Without turning to look at him, Kaoru mumbled a quick "Ohayou Kenshin", and began walking again. "Are you going out?" Come back and talk to me! Don't shut me out, Kaoru!, Kenshin pleaded silently.  
  
"Hai." Kaoru paused, calling over her shoulder, "I won't be back till late so don't wait up for me." Then before he could ask her anymore questions, she quickly made her way towards the gate and disappeared from view. Dumbly, Kenshin stared after her, wondering where she was off to in such a hurry, especially at this early in the day. Several moments later, in midst of preparing breakfast for Yahiko, it dawned on him that Kaoru had been wearing one of her good kimonos, the ones she reserved for special occasions only. Today wasn't her birthday nor was there any kind of festival that he was aware of. Although a part of him reminded him that Kaoru deserved her privacy and wasn't a child anymore, his curiosity won over. Besides, Yahiko wouldn't be waking up for another hour or so. With that in mind, Kenshin dashed out of the dojo, trying to catch a glimpse of the young woman. She couldn't have gotten that far in such a short amount of time, and he knew he'd had been correct when he spotted the tiny retreating fleck in the distance.  
  
Kaoru walked along the road quietly and slowly, lost in her own thoughts. Had she been more alert, she would've noticed a certain rurouni following her. As she drew near a small building, she managed to shake her head clear of her worries and entered in search of a particular lady doctor.  
  
Sitting from his branch on a tree, Kenshin recognized the building that Kaoru had disappeared into as the clinic where Megumi worked. His curiosity increased as he waited quietly, watching the door. His patience was rewarded moments later, as the two woman came out together, chatting. Megumi waved before re-entering the clinic and Kaoru turned back towards the road, causing Kenshin's breath to catch in his throat as he caught a full glimpse of her. The usual ponytail had been let loose and swept up into a smooth bun, held in place by a pair of black glossy chopsticks and she was wearing make up, probably courtesy of Megumi. This wasn't the first time he'd seen her dressed up, but it was quite rare so that each time he saw her, it was like the first.  
  
Oh Kaoru-chan . . . where are you going?, he asked himself wistfully. Snapping out of his thoughts, he swiftly hopped from tree to tree, until she was in sight again. Kenshin jumped down and followed the young woman through the market, able to keep an eye on her amongst the increasing crowd of people. When he realized that her designation was the Akabeko, he slipped into the shadows of the alleyway that would lead to the back doors of the restaurant. From there, he could see and hear almost everything. Kaoru stood there, hands clasped in front, looking quiet and refined. He took a moment to look her over once more, noting how well the dark purple color of the kimono flattered her figure and made her eyes appear darker than they normally were.  
  
So entranced by her appearance, Kenshin hadn't even noticed the presence of the young man that approached Kaoru. He was young, probably a year or two older than Kaoru, tall with short black hair. Had not the words, an indication of endearment spill from the strangers mouth, would Kenshin had given the situation a second thought. "Ohayou Kaoru-chan!" How dare he "chan" Kaoru?! Automatically, his hand reached for his sabbakattou, but froze midway as Kaoru's sweet voice reached his ears.  
  
"Ohayou Ta-Chan." He then proceeded to watch in stunned silence, violet eyes narrowing as Kaoru, HIS Kaoru, slipped her hand into "Ta-Chan's" offered arm before the couple disappeared into the Akabeko.  
  
Just what the HELL was going on here? 


	2. Revelations

=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 2 -----------------------------  
  
Megumi was trying to fill out the daily paper work that Dr. Genzai had asked her to do while he was away for the day. Her thoughts kept wandering back to Tanuki-chan, wondering just how her friend was doing at the moment. The door opened without warning, startling the lady doctor from her ponderings, and she let out a small gasp as she came face to face with a familiar redhead.  
  
An angry one at that. "Ohayou Ken-san! To what do I owe this surprise visit?" Fox ears appeared at the top of the older woman's head, as she tried to cover up her nervousness. "Is it time for your physical checkup again?"  
  
"Megumi-san, Sessha believes you know the reason for this visit."  
  
"Ran out of medicine, did you?" She turned towards the shelves, searching through the containers of herbs and powders. "What are you o-"  
  
"Megumi!" The firm politeness had left the rurouni's voice. She dared not turn to meet his gaze for fear of what she should find. An angry rurouni was practically equivalent to Kenshin's alter ego, Battousai. Well almost, but not quite.  
  
"Ken-san, I have no idea what you are referring to." She tried again, playing innocent. Oh Roosterhead! Where are you when I need you??  
  
"I saw Kaoru with another man in front of the Akabeko." Feigning surprise, Megumi paused as if shocked by this revelation.  
  
"Tanuki-chan? The poor man must've lost a bet or something." Fox ears twitched again, knowing her friend would've walloped her with a bokken had she been there. "Gomenasai Ken-san. I don't see what this has to do with me."  
  
"You helped her dress up." He stated simply.  
  
"So you actually followed her from the moment she stepped foot out of the dojo, hmm?" Megumi arched an eyebrow, turning to look at Kenshin. "I thought there was an agreement that you would respect Tanuki-chan's privacy?" Aha! Got you on that one, didn't I? Megumi thought wickedly as the rurouni's face flushed with guilt.  
  
"That's not the point! What's going on here?!"  
  
"Geez Ken-san, are you that possessive that you won't even allow Tanuki have some friends?" At that, Kenshin's eyes flashed in cold anger.  
  
"They were not JUST friends. Megumi, I demand to know what Kaoru is doing with that man!" Megumi turned back to the shelves and stared at the glass jars.  
  
"I can't."  
  
"Why not?!"  
  
"I promised her I wouldn't say anything." She flinched slightly as Kenshin grabbed her arm, turning her towards him.  
  
"I think I have the right to know." He watched as the doctor's dark eyes widened slightly then narrowed into angry slits. She shook his hand off, surprising him with the underlying briskness in her voice.  
  
"No, I don't think you do." Gomenasai Ken-san, but I can't let you hurt her anymore. I know you love her. We all know it, including Kaoru, but can't you see that you only cause her pain?  
  
". . . Nani?"  
  
"Maybe you should go, Ken-san. I'm sure Yahiko must be wondering where you are."  
  
"Megumi-san," The mild mannered rurouni was back, his voice was soft and pleading. "Please. I need to know why she keeps pushing me away . . ." The doctor looked up and saw Sanosuke standing in the doorway, trademark fishbone dangling from his mouth, eyes boring into hers. Both questioning each other. Receiving a slight nod, she took a deep breath and relaxed slightly.  
  
"His name is Yamada Tatsuha. 21 years old from a well off family. Kaoru met him about a month ago, while working a late shift for Tae and apparently, Yamada-san has been courting her since then."  
  
"So she's been seeing this man for almost TWO months and I didn't know anything about this????" Kenshin exclaimed in disbelief. Then he vaguely remembered Kaoru running out for errands after practice with Yahiko, but the thought of her meeting another man had never crossed his mind. Or had it? Had he been in such denial knowing the possibilities? At that moment, Sanosuke decided to make his presence known.  
  
"Oi! Fox!" Sanosuke walked in, greeting Kenshin with a look of surprise. "Kenshin, what are you doing here?" Megumi winced. Sano was a really really bad actor and so Kenshin caught on quickly.  
  
"You knew. You both knew!" He murmured quietly, in utter disbelief. His friends had kept it a secret from him. Did everyone know except for him? Even Yahiko? That angered him greatly. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?!!!!"  
  
"She made me promise!"  
  
"I thought we were friends, Sano?!" The look of betrayal and anger on the disgruntled rurouni's face tore at his two friends, but there wasn't anything that could be done now.  
  
"We ARE friends, Kenshin! But Jou-chan, you know she's like a sister to me! I just wanted her to be happy!" Sano exclaimed defensively.  
  
"Happy? What do you mean by that?" Megumi's head snapped up and she tried to shut the rooster up, but all attempts were futile.  
  
"If she waits around any longer, no one else will want to marry her!"  
  
SMACK!  
  
"Oi fox! What the hell was that for?!" Sano winced, rubbing his sore head.  
  
"He didn't know about THAT!" The older woman hissed, indicating towards the complete look of shock on Kenshin's face.  
  
"Married . . .?" He whispered, "Kaoru's getting married . . ." Wide eyes slitted angrily before he turned and dashed out, leaving the two staring after him.  
  
"Kuso!" Sano muttered, then shrugged, smirking at Megumi. "He needed the wakeup call. Maybe now he'll go and do something about it."  
  
"Tanuki's gonna kill us."  
  
"Wait till Kenshin finds out that even Misao and Shinomori knew about this before he did." 


	3. Falling Apart

=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 3 -----------------------------  
  
He sat there blending in with the shadows, lost in his train of thoughts. For the past couple of hours, he'd been sitting there, trying to fully absorb the morning's events. Yahiko had obviously known as well, because after breakfast, having seen the deadly look on Kenshin's face, he'd claimed sanctuary at the Akabeko and had yet to return.  
  
A quiet shuffling sound snapped the rurouni out of his reverie. Silently, he watched as Kaoru walked into the yard, shutting the gate behind her. Her slow careful steps were noticeable as she tried her best not to ruin the material of her kimono. As she drew nearer to where Kenshin sat, he could see the slight glow of joy that bathed her pretty face, but what threw him off track was the flickering of pain in her eyes as she looked up. For a moment, concern overwhelmed him again before turning to puzzlement and finally, hurt.  
  
Kaoru paused and then decided to change first before heading to the bathhouse. She didn't want to ruin one of the few good kimonos she had left. Tatsuha had tried to shower her with gifts, but she had flat out refused, not wanting to take upon any obligations. Besides, whatever she had left in her possession was enough to last her awhile. Yamada Tatsuha. She couldn't possibly believe her luck. He was a year or two older than her and had actually been a student of her father, although for a brief amount of time. He was kind and compassionate . . . and he cared for her. What comforted Kaoru the most was that she had found a good man to marry, one, despite the lack of feminine upbringing, still wanted to marry her. She cared for Tatsuha, although her feelings for him could never possibly compare to those she felt for . . .  
  
"Ano . . . Kaoru-dono, how come you never dress up for me anymore?"  
  
Kenshin. Startled, the young woman gasped and then spun around to see the man she had just been thinking of several seconds ago. Never dress up for him? Anymore? Since when had he actually paid attention to any of her efforts of trying to look more feminine? Then she realized with a start that his voice was childlike, quite innocent, but laced with anger. "Mou Kenshin, you scared me! Is Yahiko-chan sleeping already?"  
  
"Iie. He hasn't returned from the Akabeko yet." Wouldn't you know Kaoru? You were there, weren't you?  
  
"Oh." She nodded, remembering that she had seen her student dashing about the restaurant earlier when she'd been there with Tatsuha. Sliding open her room door, Kaoru had barely taken a step when an arm shot out in front of her, blocking her entrance. Completely unexpecting that, she stumbled back and then stared dumbly at the magenta clothed arm. What was up with him today? "Ken-"  
  
"Why are you doing this?"  
  
"What?" She looked over at him in puzzlement but he wouldn't meet her gaze.  
  
"All of this." She was silent, trying to figure out what "all of this" meant. Suddenly her heart sank as she realized what he was talking about.  
  
"You found out." Kaoru stated although it sounded more like a question. She lowered her eyes guiltily, not wanting to see the expression on her beloved rurouni's face.  
  
"So when were you going to tell me?"  
  
"Soon . . ." When I was ready, Kaoru added mentally.  
  
"What? AFTER the wedding ceremony?!" She shook her head meekly, letting out a frightened gasp as her wide blue eyes met glaring golden ones. Amber. His eyes were amber! Great job Kamiya, she congratulated herself, you've gone and pissed off Battousai. "Did you even consider how I would feel about this, Kaoru?!" Kenshin was growling. If his anger hadn't been directed towards her, she probably would've found his manner rather enticing. What was he saying now?? She forced herself to listen although she actually preferred the security of her room. "How could you go and pull a stunt like this?! Everything we've been through together, what we had . . ."  
  
"Ano . . ." She began.  
  
"Tell me that they didn't mean anything to you at all!" Kaoru's head snapped up and she glared at him, challenging him almost, relinquishing the fact that he was in his semi-battousai mode.  
  
"How dare you assume such things! Tell me, Kenshin," the emphasis on his name was almost mocking. "Just WHAT exactly did we have? Love?" Scoffing, she continued, without letting him interrupt. "Last time I checked, love was on a two person basis, not a one sided deal!" The tone of her voice turned from anger to bitterness. "Don't you understand? I'm tired of all these stupid games! It hurts, Kenshin!" Silence fell between them and she turned away, not wanting him to see her tears. Almost pleadingly, "I-I just want to be happy . . ."  
  
"Do you love him, Kaoru?" There was only pain in his voice and it stung her horribly. Not the way that I love you, Kaoru thought as she stared at the floor silently, wanting nothing more than to disappear. She'd never answer that question, not if she could help it. Love? She could probably care less about what love really was anymore. All she wanted was to stop being so miserable. If loving Kenshin meant being miserable, then she didn't want that. She didn't bother to voice that out, but he seemed to read her mind. Kenshin grasped her shoulders, almost begging for a reasonable explanation as if her answer would provide a solution for everything. "Why then? Why are you doing this?!"  
  
"Why do you keep pushing me away?!" Came the unexpected question that was thrown back in Kenshin's face. His hands dropped to his sides and he closed his eyes tightly. I love you. Because I love you, Kaoru.  
  
"Sessha . . . Sessh-" He began again, his throat constricted, as he struggled to speak. He could say it. He could. "Sessha is unworthy" came out instead. Oro. He couldn't say it. He was regretful that instant as Kaoru smacked him, angry tears welling up in her eyes.  
  
"Himura Kenshin! You're so incredibly selfish!!! Don't give me that "I'm not worthy" crap! I'm sick of hearing it! Either you love me or you don't!" She began sobbing uncontrollably. "Stop treating me like some kind of toy! I have feelings! You can't expect me to love you when the only thing you do is push me away! You can't even entirely accept it anyways, only taking what you need, when you need it! Did I ever consider YOUR feelings? What about ME?! Do you enjoy making me hurt??" Kenshin looked at her pitifully, the amber glow had long since disappeared, revealing a pair of wide violet eyes that glistened with shock and hurt at her words. Kaoru tried to compose herself, ashamed at the way she had fallen apart. Taking a deep breath her voice only came out as a shaky whisper, "Gomenasai, Kenshin, but I just can't wait around forever." At that she stepped into her room, sliding the door close behind her.  
  
The red-haired man stood there numbly, clenching his fists as the harsh reality of her confession slapped him back and forth a bit. She was right. If there was anyone he should be angry at, it was himself. He'd been completely selfish, wanting Kaoru to belong to him, wanting her love but never giving in. He wanted her to be happy, but he couldn't find it in his heart to let her go either and this was tearing her apart. Soft pained eyes turned towards the paper covered door; a hand reached out but then dropped. I love you Kaoru. You know it. I know it. And I know that you want to hear it, but I can't. I can't say it. Kami-sama knows how much I want to say it. But it just won't come out. So be it, koishii. I'll let you go.  
  
I'll let you find the happiness that I can't seem to give you. 


	4. Decisions

=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 4 -----------------------------  
  
Kaoru wandered into the kitchen the next morning, half expecting . . . well she didn't know what she was expecting regarding the incident between her and Kenshin last night. Whatever it was, apparently was not the sight that greeted her. "Ohayou Kaoru-dono! Did you sleep well? Sessha made your favorite food." That stupid rurouni grin was plastered on his face, but his eyes betrayed how he really felt, so why couldn't he just be a normal human being for once?! Mou!!! The young woman's fists bunched up at her sides, closing her eyes, trying to count to ten. Ok fine. Be like that. Pretend as if my embarrassing confessions to you last night didn't occur. I'll let this slide, although you're treading on pretty dangerous grounds right now. "Ano . . . Kaoru-dono?" Kaoru opened her eyes to see Kenshin leaning towards her, looking slightly uneasy. "Sessha wanted to apologize for last night's behavior. Eeto . . . Sessha hopes that Kaoru-dono finds the happiness she is looking for." She could only stare at him in utter disbelief, as he congratulated her. She noticed the distraught look from earlier had been replaced quickly by another goofy grin. She also noticed however that he had practically spoken the last few words through clenched teeth. Kenshin, you moron, like I can't see through you! "MOU!" The rurouni never knew what hit him. By the time he managed to sit up, Kaoru was gone.  
  
"Ohayou Kenshin." The spiky haired student yawned, sitting himself down in the spot where Kaoru had been seconds ago. "What's wrong with busu? She was practically spitting fire when I passed her." The only response Yahiko got was a low groan that sounded oddly like an "Oro!".  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Kaoru! Kenshin! Tae needs me to work a late shift at the Akabeko, so I'm not joining you guys for dinner." Yahiko said, poking his head into the room where the other two residents sat, picking at their food. Oro! Yahiko you little liar! Kenshin thought mournfully. He knew Yahiko was just trying to get away from the dojo, or more specifically, his sensei. In the past, he would've never minded the opportunity to be alone with Kaoru, however presently he found that he was afraid to be left alone with her death glares. Yea so he was the legendary ex-assassin, but with Kaoru, he was left pretty much defenseless. Kenshin paled slightly at the thought of his precious Kaoru scheming up evil ways to torture him. Peeking over his rice bowl curiously, he saw a pair of icy blue eyes watching him warily. He didn't know what he'd done this time. Ever since that morning after he'd practically given her his blessing to marry that Tatsuha guy, she'd stopped talking to him completely. As a matter of fact, she avoided him unless necessary and when she did talk to him, she spoke in a distant tone. What bothered him most was that she'd begun calling him "Himura-san". He thought she'd be happy that he wasn't going to intervene with her pursuit of happiness, but it was obvious she wasn't. He was so confused.  
  
Mou! Stop sneaking peeks at me like you're afraid of me! And to think that you used to be the legendary hitoriki, Kaoru fumed. She was still angry over how easily he had given up on her. She was truly beginning to think he didn't care much for her at all and it hurt. So the best thing she could do to move on was to avoid the dense rurouni for the time being especially since she didn't want to have a repeated episode of the other night, when she'd broken down in front of him. Well whatever, at least I still have Tatsuha who I know loves me. Aa, but he's not Kenshin, her mind replied sadly. Finally having had enough of the peeking games the older man seemed to be playing, Kaoru stood up abruptly, taking her bowl and chopsticks with her and stomped towards the kitchen. She stood there for several minutes, trying to calm her temper and bristled slightly as she noticed the other presence.  
  
Kenshin stood in the doorway, watching the young woman cautiously. He really didn't want to tick her off any more than she apparently was at the current moment. "Ah . . . Kaoru-dono?" His voice was meek and he inwardly cursed himself for sounding like such a wimp.  
  
"Leave me alone, Himura." Came the cool reply. Oh, had he forgotten to mention that Kaoru's tone was icy enough to freeze up an entire room? No wonder why Yahiko hadn't even attempted to insult his sensei like he usually did.  
  
"Forgive me Kaoru-dono, but Sessha doesn't know what he did wrong. Please tell Sessha so that he can makes things right again?" I'll apologize for anything, Kaoru, just tell me, please.  
  
Baka! How can you possibly apologize and make all of this right? Before Kaoru could tell the rurouni to go away again, a soft voice coming from the dojo yard drifted into the kitchen. "Kaoru-chan?" Tatsuha? What on earth was he doing here so late? Kenshin froze in place as Kaoru walked by him, practically running out to meet their surprise visitor. At the sound of Kaoru's enthusiastic "Ta-chan!", he slowly turned and walked out to the porch, clenching his jaw at the sight of the young man holding HIS Kaoru.  
  
Kaoru momentarily forgot her earlier anger as she hurried over to her fiancé. He pulled her into his arms, holding onto her tightly and then planted a kiss on her forehead. "Kaoru-chan!"  
  
"Ta-chan! What are you doing here so late?" He was so sweet. In time she would learn to willingly give her heart to him completely.  
  
"Gomenasai koishii, but I just had to see you again." Tatsuha put a finger to her lips, silencing her protest of amusement and nodded. "I know that we are to be wedded in no more then two days, but I just wanted to see you just once more as Kamiya Kaoru." Kenshin could see Kaoru's face brighten at her fiancé's words. He tensed up as Kaoru's "Ta-chan" touched her face tenderly. Yet he could sense no danger from the young man's ki. There was no intention of endangering Kaoru, just pure adoration. He was as smitten by the young woman's fiery nature as Kenshin was. Suddenly, the startled young man looked up and spotted the older man. "Konbanwa! Gomenasai for disturbing you this late." Kenshin just nodded curtly, not noticing the look on Kaoru's face, and slipped back inside to clean up the remains of their meal.  
  
He tried not to pay any attention to what was going on outside, as he noticed that the couple was sitting on the steps, chatting. However the voices soon toned down to soft whispers and delighted giggles that drifted in to where he sat; distracting him, almost forcing him to listen. Kaoru's laughter rang out throughout the night like the musical tinkling of bells and Kenshin found himself slumping down into a void of self-pity, realizing that he could never possibly make her as happy as she sounded. It cheered him up a bit, knowing that his beloved would at least be in good hands, hands that were unstained, unlike his own.  
  
After Yamada-san left, he would talk to her about his decision of wandering once more. 


	5. Broken Beliefs

=Author's Note= Sorrieeee!!! ^__^ Uhh . . . wow this chapter was hard to write because I had to pick up from where I left off about 2 months ago . . . never stop writing in the middle of a fic or you'll lose all train of thought. Hope I didn't mess anything up . . . enjoy!  
  
=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 5 -----------------------------  
  
Kaoru smiled slightly as she touched her lips where Tatsuha had kissed her moments ago before leaving. It had been sweet and gentle, yet she found herself wishing it had been Kenshin who'd kissed her. Kaoru no baka! You know that won't ever happen again. Not after Kenshin saw you in Tatsuha's arms. She had forgotten about the rurouni because she'd been so surprised to see her fiancé. No matter how much she longed for her beloved rurouni, she had to remember that "they" no longer existed. Well not that there had been an actual "they" in the first place. Still . . .  
  
Unbeknownst to the slightly dazed young woman, Kenshin had witnessed the endearing kiss between the couple and it had torn him to pieces. Kaoru, no! As if seeing you in the arms of another man wasn't enough. Unable to move, he'd stood there in the shadows, forced to watch the intimate exchange. Even now, he watched as Kaoru walked back towards the dojo, not knowing what he wanted to do. She looked happy, touching her lips in a curious daze. He found himself wondering if she'd ever done that for him; if his kisses had ever left her dazed and curious. Koishii . . . I can't take this anymore. "Kaoru." She turned, a look of guilt crossing her face as she spotted him.  
  
"Himura-san." Kenshin cringed.  
  
"Kaoru, why do you insist on calling me 'Himura-san' as if we are strangers?"  
  
I need to. I need to put this distance between us, Kaoru thought. "I don't know." There was an awkward silence that settled among them. "Ano . . . was there something you needed?"  
  
"I need to talk to you, if that is alright." She nodded, her earlier display of anger and coldness completely forgotten. "I'll be honest with you . . . I owe you that much." Kenshin hid his face behind the layer of red hair as he spoke, knowing that if he looked at Kaoru, he would never be able to fully confess how he was feeling. "Kaoru, I know that I've been a complete fool and you were right, I have been completely selfish."  
  
"I wanted you to be happy in finding someone else who would worthy, but I didn't want to let you go either, so I hung on. I took you for granted, selfishly holding onto your love but keeping you at a distance. I didn't think about how much I was hurting you, just that I was keeping you safe. It pains me to see you with another man, knowing that he can give you the happiness that I'll never be able to provide you. No matter how much I want to be that someone, I know it'll never happen. I don't deserve that. Gomenasai for causing you so much misery, Kaoru."  
  
"Kenshin no baka." Was Kaoru's quiet reply. "Apology accepted, but you're wrong. You could give me the same happiness if you would just let me love you and love me in return."  
  
"Iie, Kaoru. It's not enough. I don't deserve your love."  
  
"How can y-" Kenshin hushed her, a sad smile crossing his lips.  
  
"I just need to know. Are you truly happy with him?" Kaoru gazed up at him then closed her eyes briefly.  
  
"Would it change anything between us if I told you no?" He knew what she was asking.  
  
"Iie. Probably not. That's why I want to make sure you're happy. That's all that matters. I don't want to be selfish any longer and hold you back." Her blue eyes flew open in alarm.  
  
"Iie! You can't leave! You can't!"  
  
"I need to Kaoru. You're getting married. There's no room for me here. Besides, even if you weren't to be wed, I couldn't stay here any longer knowing the pain that I was putting you through. It will only be the same thing over and over again. I can't give you the happiness you deserve."  
  
"Iie!!! I won't hear of it!" She shook her head vehemently, but was forced to stop as Kenshin cupped her face in his hands, gently brushing away the tears that had spilt from Kaoru's glassy eyes.  
  
"Are you happy?"  
  
"Kenshin, please don't leave." She murmured pitifully. "I'm sorry I brought all of this up. I should have never gotten mi-"  
  
"Don't say that! Don't you realize that this is inevitable?" He hugged her tightly. "Answer me Kaoru. Tell me the truth."  
  
"I love you, Kenshin!"  
  
"Iie. The truth, Kaoru. I need to hear it."  
  
"That is the truth! I love you! Don't go!" She pleaded.  
  
"Does Yamada Tatsuha make you happy?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"H-hai." The next thing she knew, Kenshin had pressed his lips against hers, giving her a soft lingering kiss.  
  
"You're not giving up your chance at happiness for me, Kaoru, I won't let you." He kissed her again, holding her tightly, trying to imprint this moment into his mind. The last time he'd be able to hold her like this before she would be claimed by another man. The tear-stricken girl clung on to his gi, fisting the material in her fingers as Kenshin patted her back.  
  
"Don't go. I won't marry . . . just don't leave . . . I love you . . ." For a moment the rurouni almost changed his mind but he held strong, looking down at Kaoru with determination.  
  
"I have caused you nothing but trouble and pain since I came into your life . . . it is time that I leave and bring all the bad memories with me. I will wander again and that is that." Kaoru opened her mouth in protest but was silenced with a stern look. "Don't even think about it. I will see to it that you don't follow me, not this time." In a softer tone, "Yamada-san cares for you a lot and he could give you what I can't."  
  
"You don't know what you're talking about . . ." Kaoru murmured, releasing his clothes and taking a step back.  
  
"I know that you deserve to be pampered and taken care of. You need to be showered with love and I can't give you any of that. He could fulfill your every need."  
  
"Don't assume you know what I need, Kenshin. You don't know."  
  
"It doesn't matter. I could nev-"  
  
"You're absolutely right. You couldn't possibly fulfill my needs!" Kaoru interrupted, angrily. Kenshin began to lower his eyes at her outburst, only to meet her frustrated gaze again as she continued to speak. "How could you provide me with what I 'need' if you've never even really bothered to try?"  
  
"Kaoru . . ." She shook her head and took another step back, eyes blazing.  
  
"I don't care for what kind of life Tatsuha could provide me with. I don't need the gifts or the luxury. He isn't you . . . but I'm beginning to believe that he is more of a man than you are." Kenshin's eyes narrowed slightly. He knew he looked feminine, but it was not that necessary to poke fun at something he had no control over. "He's not afraid to show me how much he loves me, which is something you can't even do. I just needed to know where 'we' stood, rather than to play guessing games all day long. You couldn't even manage that."  
  
"All I needed from you was for you to stop pushing me away . . . that was all I wanted. You misjudged me, Kenshin. I would've waited till you were ready to tell me. I would've waited a lifetime, if you would've just given me some kind of sign to let me know that there was an actual 'us'."  
  
"Kao-"  
  
"Don't worry. I understand perfectly. If you loved me as much as you claimed you did, then you wouldn't have given up so easily. You wouldn't be running away if you cared. I'm glad I could finally see where I stand in all of this. So go if you want. I promise I won't follow you." The bitter iciness in her voice stabbed at his heart, her words stopping his blood cold. Kaoru hesitated for a moment, waiting for the man she loved with all her heart to just contradict her words, but he just stood there silently. So it was true. He didn't love her enough to stay. Had he wanted to leave again, using this as a perfect opportunity to wander? He was probably glad to get away from her. With that last thought in mind, a muffled sob escaped her throat as she ran for her room.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Kaoru . . . how could you say that? Do you really believe that I don't care? You're so pure, so innocent . . . so full of strength. You're the reason I live . . . I love you so much it hurts to let go . . . but I know it's for the best. I won't be putting your life in danger anymore. I won't be burdening you with my filthy past. Maybe it's just best that I let you think I don't care. It'll be easier on you . . . as long as I'm not causing you any more misery . . . you'll be happy with Yamada-san.  
  
After packing the few items he owned, the rurouni passed Kaoru's room on the way out. He stood there eyes closed, hands clenched tightly, listening to her soft sniffles. It wasn't right to part on such terms but what other choice did he have? 


	6. Saying Goodbye

=Author's Note= This fic is coming to an end soon. Maybe one more chapter to tie things up. It was meant to be a one-shot, but ended up too long. Enjoy! And thanks for all the reviews!  
  
=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 6 -----------------------------  
  
Kaoru hugged her knees to her chest as she stared blankly at the wall. She knew he'd left. She had sensed his presence as he'd stood outside her door, as if contemplating whether or not he should check on her. In the end, he had just walked away, murmuring a soft "Sayonara Kaoru" before walking away.  
  
Baka. You really don't care for me . . . why didn't you just say so? Was I just a plaything all along? You acted like you cared for me but was it really love? Or was it just lust? I just wanted you to open your eyes . . . but you couldn't do that. I tried, I really did. I let myself get drawn in by you . . . yet you wouldn't let me get any closer. You wouldn't stop pushing me away. What did I do wrong, Kenshin? I'm so ashamed of myself for falling apart . . . I let you see how vulnerable I really am. I openly confessed and bared my heart to you, yet you couldn't even find a way to assure me that all my foolish attempts were not in vain. How many times did I have to tell you that I didn't care about your past? If you really wanted me to be happy, you would've stayed. I cry and I hurt . . . because I love you so much. Tatsuha makes me happy, yes, but he could never replace you.  
  
And now you've left . . .  
  
Why did you run away, Kenshin? You'd stay and fight for our lives . . . but you wouldn't stay and fight for something that already belongs to you? My heart was yours from the very beginning.  
  
Did you ever know that your eyes betray you? I'm more observant than you think. And I waited, time after time for you to just come around and tell me. I wanted to hear some kind of reassurance, not just the hidden emotions you thought I couldn't see in your expression. However, I'm beginning to realize that perhaps I'd been mistaken. Have I been interpretating it wrong all this time?  
  
So this is it. You cared for me, but once another man was able to take your place, you just upped and left . . .  
  
I'll move on then. Although it hurts so much. You walked away with my heart but I'll find it again.  
  
I gave you your chance. If you ever decide to come around, you'll be too late, Kenshin . . . I just wonder if I'll ever see you again.  
  
The young kendo teacher drifted off to sleep, never hearing her shoji door slid open, never noticing the other presence kneeling down beside her. He laid her down on her futon in a more comfortable position and tucked her in securely with the blanket. For several minutes, he sat there, watching her angelic face faint with troubles that bothered her in her unconscious state. He'd promised himself that he would just check on her before leaving. The thought of his last memory of Kaoru in tears pained him. Instead, those several minutes turned into an hour . . . then two hours. Finally, he brushed a lose strand of hair back from her beautiful face and kissed her forehead gently. A small smile crossed Kaoru's lips, followed by a soft "Ken . . . shin" Even in her dreams, after all he'd done to her, she still thought about him. He didn't deserve her. Reluctantly, Kenshin stood up with one last loving gaze over his shoulder, and walked out without having the intentions of ever returning.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Sanosuke was walking along the road towards the clinic, whistling merrily, when a familiar red-haired figure passed him. "Oi! Kenshin!" The rurouni stopped and turned slowly, regarding the younger man with cautious eyes. "Where are you going this late at night?"  
  
"Sessha decided to go for a walk." Sanosuke nodded and dug his hands into his pockets.  
  
"Listen, you're not still mad at me about the thing with Jou-chan, are you?" He snorted "I mean i-"  
  
"Iie, Sano. Daijoubu. You were just trying to be a good friend, sessha understands that. Ano . . . do sessha a favor and just watch over Kaoru-dono for him." The ex- gangster nodded in relief before finally noticing the small bundle Kenshin was holding.  
  
"You're leaving." This new discovery was stated flatly with an undertone of disbelief.  
  
"Hai. Sessha has decided it was time he wander again." Sanosuke chuckled grimly, his brown eyes narrowing unhappily.  
  
"You bastard! I won't let you go without a fight." The rurouni held up his hands as his friend began to advance towards him.  
  
"Maa, maa . . . Kaoru-dono is happy and better off without me. This is for the best."  
  
"You're wrong! She's supposed to end up with you!" Sanosuke cracked his knuckles, preparing to knock some sense into his dense pal's head.  
  
"Iie, Sano. I make her miserable. You know I can't possibly give her the happiness she deserves."  
  
"That's a bunch of crap! She needs you! And you're walking out on her! Do you even care?!" He was so frustrated with Kenshin that he hadn't noticed the rurouni had dropped his degrading reference of himself.  
  
"Of course I care!" Kenshin retorted. "I love her and I want her to be happy! I know she won't be happy with me! I can't even tell her I love her and Kami-sama knows I've tried! At least I can leave knowing that she'll be in good hands with Yamada-san. He cares for her and will give her everything that I can't."  
  
"So that's it, huh Kenshin? You're just giving up like that?" Kenshin nodded. "You're a bigger wussy than I ever thought possible!"  
  
"Oro???"  
  
"I never knew the legendary hitoriki was so afraid of love." At that taunt, violet eyes narrowed. Sanosuke knew he was pushing on the rurouni's last nerve. The man, as skilled as he was, could only be patient for so long. The stupid rurouni . . . instead of forcing him to come to his senses about Jou-chan, he was running away instead. Great. He was getting sick of trying to get them together. Kenshin was a total moron!  
  
"You don't know anything, Sanosuke!" was the cold reply he received. Shrugging, Sanosuke stuck his ever handy fishbone in between his teeth and chewed on it, studying his friend. Kenshin took a step back, startled, as a bright grin made its way across Sanosuke's face. His eyes told another story however. Frustration, anger and sadness resided among the brown.  
  
"You're right, Kenshin. I don't know anything . . . but if there's one thing I do know, it's that you're her heart and soul." Turning, he called over his shoulder as he began walking once more towards the clinic. "Only you have the power to make her hurt so badly, but you're also the only one who can give her the happiness she needs." With a wave of his hand, the young man disappeared around the corner. "Have a great journey, Kenshin. Come back and visit!" Kenshin stared off into the distance, deep in thought before continuing along his way. 


	7. Always

=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
** Hope this is slightly better than the original posted chapter. I tried to go more into Kenshin's thoughts. Gomenasai minna-san if this is still not good. It's just very difficult to go back and revise when your mind isn't fully involved. **  
  
----------------------------- Chapter 7 Revised ---------------------------- -  
Smile. You can do it.  
  
Somehow Kaoru finally managed to muster up the courage to smile as Tae and Tsubame helped to arrange her hair. The smile was shaky, but genuine.  
  
"I can't believe you're finally getting married, Kaoru!" Tae squealed in excitement, and then frowned slightly. "Although I always thought you'd end up with Himura-san." The young woman smiled again, shrugging. "Well it doesn't matter, as long as you're finally getting married and Yamada-san is such a wonderful man!" Tsubame blushed lightly at the ongoing chatter as she carefully brushed Kaoru's hair.  
  
I'm happy . . . I'm happy . . . Kaoru chanted mentally then sighed in resignation. But I'd be happier with Kenshin! Mou! Why couldn't he have been selfish and not give up so easily? At the reminder that her beloved rurouni was probably gone for good, Kaoru felt tears beginning to prick at her eyes. I can't cry. I won't. This is supposed to be a happy day for me. After today, I will devote my love to Tatsuha. He at least deserves that much. The image of the dark haired handsome young man brought a slight smile to her face. The young bride was so lost in her in own thoughts that she didn't realize her friends had finished fixing her hair. A loud squeal snapped her back to reality and Kaoru saw her close friend, Misao, jumping up and down, hands clasped together with a bright smile on her pretty face.  
  
"Oh Kaoru! You look amazing!!!" The genki ninja wailed, her bright eyes sparkling in admiration.  
  
"Well whoever thought that tanuki-chan could look so feminine?" Another voice interrupted, earning a glare. Kaoru's eye twitched as she shot Megumi a death glare but softened at the teasing smile that played on the older woman's lips.  
  
"Iie . . . I'm still a tanuki."  
  
"You're wrong Kaoru." Megumi smiled fondly, turning her towards the full length mirror propped up against the wall. Kaoru blinked several times as she gazed at her own reflection. Was that her? This young woman . . . this pretty young woman about to get married . . . it couldn't be. Kamiya Kaoru was a messy tomboy . . .  
  
"Megumi-san is right! You look like a princess, Kaoru-san!" came the shy whisper from Tsubame.  
  
"And you've got a handsome prince waiting outside!" Tae added as she touched up Kaoru's appearance. Kaoru smiled sadly at Tae's words. She had a prince alright . . .  
  
"The wrong one . . . " Kaoru whispered to herself as she stared off blankly into space, thinking no one had heard her. Megumi felt a tug of sorrow in her heart, seeing the flicker of sadness cross the young woman's dark blue eyes momentarily before being replaced by somewhat of a forced cheerfulness. Oh tanuki . . . we tried . . . Kenshin's just too thickheaded . . .  
  
They had agreed to keep the marital ceremony small and simple with mainly Kaoru's close friends in attendance. Afterwards, the newly married couple would join their friends at the Akabeko to have a celebration dinner, courtesy of Tae.  
  
Kaoru suddenly found herself beginning to get nervous, fighting hard against the tightening sensation in her chest. Megumi caught the look of panic on her face and quickly ushered the other females out of the room before tending to the panic stricken bride. "Kaoru, take a deep breathe." The doctor instructed firmly as she grabbed a hold of the young woman's arm. "Kaoru, snap out of it!"  
  
"I'm so scared, Megumi." Came the shrill reply as soon as Kaoru was able to breathe properly again.  
  
"Pre-wedding jitters, neh? Everyone has them, tanuki."  
  
"Iie . . . I'm afraid that if I marry Tatsuha, I wouldn't be able to love him the way he'd want me to and he doesn't deserve that!"  
  
"Get a hold of yourself. It's obvious you care for Yamada-san, Kaoru . . . it's rare that you can find another person to care for so deeply twice in a lifetime . . . forget him . . . he's gone." Megumi stated curtly, then gently dabbed at the single tear that escaped Kaoru's eyes, careful not to smudge the makeup that Tae had worked so hard on. "Come on, Kaoru. Where's that strong independent tanuki we all know?" Kenshin, you idiot . . . if only you could see the pain you're putting her in . . . you thought that by leaving, you'd spare her the misery when in fact it has only cost her more pain, Megumi fumed silently. "Kaoru, do you really not want to go through with this? It's not too late to back out."  
  
Kaoru gazed at her friend silently then towards the door where she knew her groom was waiting. The thought of fleeing crossed her mind, but that would mean hurting Tatsuha, and she wasn't about to do the same thing to him as Kenshin had done to her. No, she wasn't going to run away. Time to face harsh facts of reality . . . Kenshin wasn't going to return and it was her one last shot at living a life she knew her parents would've wanted for her. Here was a man who accepted her for who she was and for her distinct beliefs . . . Megumi was right, it was rare to be able to find another man who would care for her despite her lack of womanly abilities, as Kenshin had.  
  
It was just that . . . oh Kenshin, you couldn't even say goodbye . . .  
  
"I'm ready . . . " Kaoru stated in a determined voice. Megumi quickly fixed up the young woman's attire before heading towards the door. Stopping in midstride as Kaoru's meek voice reached her. "Megumi? Are you sure I look ok?" The doctor smiled.  
  
"You look beautiful . . . even for a tanuki." Kaoru laughed and followed her friend to the door to greet her soon to be husband.  
  
Kenshin watched from his spot in the shadows, remembering his previous conversation with Sanosuke. Just one last glimpse and he would go. That he would.  
  
A hand fell on his shoulder yet it didn't come as a surprise to the rurouni who had sensed the familiar presence approach. "I knew you'd show up."  
  
"I just wanted to see her." She'd never forgive me if I weren't present for one of the most memorable events of her life. I couldn't forgive myself either . . . but would I be able to handle it? Could I withstand the pain of seeing her in the arms of another man? I've caused her so much pain and this young man could give her everything that I can't. Kenshin cringed. I will not be jealous. I have no right to be. That I do not. As soon as I see her, I will leave at least knowing that she is in good hands. But if I stayed, then I wouldn't have to worry about Kaoru's safety. No, she doesn't need me hanging around. What if Yamada-san dared to lay a hand on her? He wouldn't. There was no danger to his ki. Maybe he's good at suppressing his ki. No! No no no! Maa maa! The rurouni sighed as the opposing voices continued to argue in his head.  
  
Sanosuke watched silently as the older man seemed to be inwardly arguing with himself. The groom took his place on the porch, looking nervous yet happy. A few minutes later, the shoji door slid open and Megumi walked out, nodding at Tatsuha. She stepped aside and disappeared around the corner, leaving the young man alone. A timid figure soon appeared in the doorway, leaving all three men (as soon as Kenshin stopped arguing with himself and took notice of Kaoru's presence) completely breathless.  
  
While Kenshin tried to settle a compromise with his noisy conscience, the sound of a shoji door opening caught his attention. Looking up, the picture that met his view left his throat dry and constricted. Even the voices trailed off into completely an awed silence.  
  
A silk white kimono with silver intricate designs fitted her like a second skin, clinging to her feminine curves. Tae and Tsubame had left Kaoru's hair down, the soft raven tresses cascading like a waterfall around her slim shoulders. Tiny white roses carefully woven into the crown of her hair like a tiara. Wide blue eyes flashed with amusement even as a light pink flush tinted her cheeks in shyness.  
  
"Kirei!" Sanosuke muttered. "Who would've thought Jou-chan was such a babe!" The young man exclaimed teasingly, nudging the speechless man beside him. His Kaoru. This beautiful vision of an angel could've been his to claim. "It's still not too late, Kenshin."  
  
"Kaoru." Was the only word that Kenshin managed to whisper as he continued to gaze at her in wonder. A slight frown marred his features as he witnessed the intimate interaction between the young couple.  
  
The young bride stood there in uncertainty, glancing at Tatsuha in a painfully shy manner. She wasn't used to being presented to him in this attire. The look on his face told her how surprised he was at her appearance. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Tatsuha gazed at his wife to be appreciatively. He had always thought she was pretty, but ethereally beautiful was more of the politically correct term to describe her at the moment. The fidgeting gave away how uncomfortable she was and he stepped forward, taking her hand in his. "Kaoru-chan, you look gorgeous." At the compliment, Kaoru blushed but she took a step back and looked at him before smiling.  
  
"Arigatou Ta-chan. You look very handsome as well." She closed her eyes as he kissed her softly before noting the look on her face. Kaoru saw the questioning look in his eyes but only smiled. "I'm nervous."  
  
Just then, a gentle breeze seemed to pick up. One word, a simple whisper reached Kaoru's ear. Her name.  
  
Kaoru.  
  
She'd recognize that voice anywhere.  
  
Kenshin watched as Kaoru's head snapped up and whipped around towards his direction. He had to steady himself as azure met violet and for a moment he thought she had spotted him, but the quick darting of her eyes informed him that she had not pinpointed his exact location.  
  
Those eyes . . . belied a depth of sadness . . . seemingly pleading and beckoning to him.  
  
She knew he was there, skillfully hidden and watching. Turning towards her groom, Kaoru smiled assuringly. "Give me a moment." Careful not to ruin the beautiful kimono, Kaoru stepped off the porch and slowly made her way towards the group of trees. Kenshin hid deeper into the shadows and blocked off his ki. To his relief,  
  
"Sano? What are you doing back here?"  
  
"Hey Jou-chan! Just checking out some birds . . . the red herrings are out you know." He winked as he hugged her, planting a brotherly kiss on her forehead. "You look great by the way. Don't keep us waiting too long!" Sanosuke called over his shoulder as he sauntered off. Kenshin's eyes narrowed at the retreating figure before widening in surprise.  
  
"Kenshin?" Kaoru paused, taking a deep breath while looking around curiously. She wasn't going to cry, not anymore. A faint smile crossed her lips as she caught scent of the familiar musky scent that belonged solely to him. He really was here. Well at least she could say goodbye now. "Arigatou for coming today. It means a lot to me." Don't cry, Kamiya, she reprimanded herself, swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat.  
  
"I guess this is the final goodbye . . . I hope you fare well on your journey . . . and I hope that you don't ever forget me or any of the others. You'll always be welcome back here, so do stop by and visit if you're ever in the area." Kaoru scanned the trees again, hesitating but then finally gave up. "Sayonara . . . aishiteru, Kenshin."  
  
He watched as his beloved began walking away, her words echoing in his head. Without thinking, Kenshin stepped out into view. "Kaoru."  
  
She stopped in midstride and turned back towards him, frozen in place, watching as he walked towards her in a cautious manner. "You're here." Was her reply.  
  
"Gomenasai." Kenshin touched her cheek tenderly, gazing into her wonderful blue eyes, then stopped in disbelief. Her eyes were sparkling with joy. Because of him? ". . . If there's one thing I do know, it's that you're her heart and soul." The parting words of his young friend drifted into his mind as he continued to look at her in disbelief.  
  
"Kirei. You look like a goddess, Kaoru." A faint blush reappeared, tingeing her delicate cheekbones. The desire to throw her arms around him and never let go, to kiss him endlessly, -no, it wasn't going to happen. She wasn't going to hurt Tatsuha like that. At the sudden reminder of her soon to be husband, Kaoru spun out of Kenshin's reach and turned to see her fiancé standing alone. He was still patiently waiting where she had left him. Decision made, Kaoru turned back to the rurouni and hugged him.  
  
"I have to go. Just know you'll always have a place in my heart . . . " She brushed her lips lightly over his cheek and began walking back towards the porch. However, she didn't turn quickly enough to hide the hurt in her eyes. Kenshin stared after her dumbly.  
  
It was true. Only he could take her pain away.  
  
"Kaoru! Matte!" The young woman had just walked up the steps and joined Tatsuha. The couple turned to see the red-haired man running over. A slight flutter stirred in Kaoru's heart but she ignored it.  
  
"Kenshin?" He turned, regarding the groom and bowed his head slightly before meeting his gaze.  
  
"Gomenasai Yamada-san, demo I cannot allow Kaoru to marry you." Kaoru's mouth dropped open in disbelief as Kenshin's words reached her ears.  
  
"Soudeska?" Was that a glimmer of amusement in the younger man's eyes? Kenshin gazed at him curiously before being interrupted by an angry Kaoru.  
  
"Kenshin, what are you doing?!" She exclaimed, trying to ignore the increasing flutters deep inside of her chest. Her knees almost gave way as Kenshin turned to look at her, determination obvious in his expression.  
  
"You can't marry him." Those words, stated so calmly, caused a variety of emotions to surface before settling on both joy and anger. I cannot let you go through with this, koishii. Not while I'm still here, not while I'm still alive. Your heart belongs to me as mine belongs solely to you. We both know it.  
  
"Nani?!"  
  
"I can't allow you to marry him." Kaoru began to seethe, her fists clenching in mock fury. If you think you're going to mess with me again, you've got another thought coming buster! Kenshin or not, I will send you on a one way trip to the Americas, she thought, silently fuming. The rurouni picked up on the unstable ki and tried to intervene before the young woman's anger erupted on him.  
  
"Maa maa, Kaoru . . ." With a glance at Tatsuha, Kenshin took his infuriated angel by the shoulders and forced her to look at him. I'd better make this quick or Kaoru will have my head. Ok Himura . . . do it now or else you'll lose your only chance. "Kaoru . . . I know that I told you that I could never provide you with the happiness you deserve . . . and you were right. I never really tried to understand you, only making assumptions which I now know were completely wrong. And yes, I was a coward for running away, but I had to be knocked down a couple of pegs to really understand what I was leaving behind. I only wanted you to be happy . . . and I thought that maybe you would be happier with Yamada-san, but now I realize that your happiness truly lies elsewhere."  
  
"I'm so sorry for everything, Kaoru. I know I've been a complete fool this whole time, however I can't just step back and watch you devote your love to another man." Crystal blue eyes narrowed at him before shaking her head.  
  
"Iie. You were right. I am happy with Ta-chan." Kenshin's heart sank as his beloved stepped away from him and turned towards the younger man, taking his hand in hers. I promised myself I would move on, Kenshin, why are you doing this to me now? Is this some kind of sick joke? Well I'm not falling for it this time.  
  
"You really will marry him then." Tell me it is a joke, that I'm not too late, Kaoru.  
  
"Hai." How could such a simple word tear him apart so horribly? Maybe if he tried . . . just one last time. Just one last shot.  
  
"Even if I told you that . . . I . . . I love you." The rurouni forced his lips to form the words that his heart was singing to him and had been singing to him for a long time. There he had said it. He tried again. "Kaoru, aishiteru." She had turned her back towards him, facing Tatsuha so that he couldn't see her expression, but he was good at reading body language and her body had stiffened slightly at his words. Please Kaoru, come back to me. I've said it. I've said I love you . . . and I promise we can move on together from there, he pleaded silently. He noticed that the groom had remained silent the entire time and it was almost eternity before Kaoru finally replied.  
  
"I don't want to play your mind games anymore, Kenshin. Gomenasai, you're too late." So calm was her voice. So cold. His head bowed slightly as Kenshin swallowed hard, trying to accept the situation. Baka! Did you really expect her to wait for you? To come at your beck and call? It's your fault. You pushed her away. You hurt her so many times.  
  
"I see." He said, keeping his voice light and casual. He would not ruin her day of happiness. Even if he was not part of that happiness. "Well then, I wish you the best of luck, Kaoru-dono . . . Yamada-san, you are a very lucky man, I know you will take care of her." The last part was not a question, it was a statement with an unspoken threat of which Tatsuha picked up on quite quickly.  
  
Koishii . . . I was a complete moron . . . I took too long to come to my senses. No matter how many times I reminded myself that you weren't going to wait around forever . . . I still took you for granted. I wanted to leave you, believing that you would be happy and that I would always have this happy moment of you to look back on. But now I will leave, remembering your happiness and my sorrow combined as one. Kami-sama, I tried to avoid this pain but it looks like it was inevitable. In the end, either one of us was meant to be happy and the other, hurt. I could tell you that I loved you a thousand times and I'd still be too late. Doushite? Why was I so stupid? Iie, it doesn't matter. You were too pure for me. No matter how much it hurts me to let go, to see you betrothed to another man, I will still love you and treasure the memories we shared together. I deserve this punishment. It was fated that I should never find true happiness. Aishiteru Kaoru. We'll meet again some day.  
  
"Hai." The young man finally spoke, keeping his eyes on the woman in front of him even Kenshin finally turned and began to walk away. She was so beautiful . . . more than she could ever know. He'd been lucky enough to have her in his life but the more he analyzed the situation, the more Tatsuha realized that she would never be completely happy living with him. She was so independent and so carefree, the dojo was her life and love. He couldn't bear to restrain her from the life she'd known since she was a child. It was like caging a dove, so inhumane. Kaoru cared for him, he could see it, but her heart would never completely belong to him. Despite her wavering words of rejection against this red-haired swordsman, those wonderful blue eyes spoke another story.  
  
"We should go Ta-chan, they are waiting for us." Tearing her gaze away from the rurouni's retreating figure, Kaoru closed her eyes briefly at the tugging pain in her heart before taking a step forward. She was stopped by Tatsuha. "Nani?"  
  
"Kaoru-chan . . . I love you and I worship you so dearly . . . if it were any other man, I would undoubtedly fight to my death for you . . . and to know that you would willingly give up this once in a lifetime chance for me lets me know how much you truly care for me. To give up your happiness for me is something I cannot allow. I couldn't bear to know that it was I who prevented you from pursuing your desire."  
  
"Tatsuha, what are you saying?" Kaoru asked timidly, unbelieving the words that were coming from him.  
  
"I won't marry you." Kenshin's head shot up in confusion as he paused in midstride.  
  
"Demo . . ." Tatsuha took both of Kaoru's hands in his and kissed them.  
  
"You're so beautiful, Kaoru . . . so strong-willed and compassionate . . . my lifestyle would restrict you and deep inside, I know that you would wither into an empty shell, seeking for the freedom you once had. What I'm saying is that, thank you for loving and caring for me, I won't regret meeting you, but your heart doesn't belong to me. It belongs to Himura-san and that is something you and I both know can't be denied."  
  
"Ho-" Kaoru questioned but was interrupted by a gentle smile and a flicker of amusement in the dark green eyes. Behind them, Kenshin watched through cautious eyes, unsure of Yamada-san's true intentions. As he listened to the words exchanged between the two however, he felt a stir of hope from deep within and wanted to dance in joy. Kami-sama, can it be? Are you really giving me this chance at redemption? Ano . . . just because Yamada- san refuses to marry Kaoru, doesn't mean that I have another chance . . . Baka! I've ruined her celebration. I should've never came. Kaoru will never forgive me now. Oh koishii, please don't be angry with me . . . the bit of joy in Kenshin's eyes faded to sadness as he realized yet once again, he had undoubtedly caused Kaoru pain. Kami-sama, why do you insist on doing this to me? To Kaoru? I would willingly suffer demo, to drag Kaoru into this as well . . .  
  
"A little bird told me. Kaoru, I want to thank you for these past two months. The time I spent with you means the world to me." He brushed the tears away from her face. "Don't cry. I really do love you. Always will." Leaning down, Tatsuha kissed her one last time before stepping back. "I'll leave you two alone . . . but I expect that the wedding ceremony should still continue, even though not as originally planned." The puzzled bride watched as her ex-groom disappeared around the corner before turning slowly to meet a pair of sorrowful violet eyes.  
  
"Kaoru . . . all I can say is how sorry I am . . ." Kenshin began but was silenced by an angry look. "Ano. . ."  
  
"Kenshin Himura . . ." She began through clenched teeth. A huge sweat drop formed on the back of the rurouni's head. She was definitely beyond upset.  
  
"H-hai Kaoru-dono?" Time to switch into the rurouni routine if he wanted to save his ass.  
  
"You played with my feelings for Kami-sama knows how long?!" I didn't mean to!  
  
"Oro . . . " Koibito, you glow with such beauty when you are angry, Kenshin sighed inwardly, despite the murderous ki that was directed towards him.  
  
"You get angry because another man took interest in me and you practically accused me of being unfaithful to you!" Demo, Kaoru, I get angry even when Sanosuke looks at you wrong!  
  
"Oro . . . "  
  
"Instead of taking it like a man, you decide that you would go off wandering again, firmly believing that I would be happier without you!" Again with the insults of my masculinity!  
  
"Maa maa, Kaoru . . . ", Kenshin held his hands up in mock surrender as she continued to advance towards him, her eyes flashing. How he could drown himself in those endless crystals forever.  
  
"And then you pull THIS stunt?!" He gulped as Kaoru grabbed his by the collar of his gi. "Do you know how much you've put me through, Himura?!?!" Iie, Kaoru, do you know how much I want you right now?  
  
"ORO?! Gome-" The ex-swordsman began to apologize but stopped as Kaoru suddenly let go of him, tears spilling down her delicate cheeks once more. "Kao-" No no! Don't cry, Kaoru! Why is it that all I ever do is make you cry?! I ju- . . . nani? Are you crying tears of joy??  
  
"Why did it have to take you this long to realize, Kenshin? Do I even mean that little to you for you to wait this long?" A slight smile curved up at his mouth as he pulled her into his embrace, holding her tightly. "Kenshin no baka!" Came the muffled sob. Iie, I was foolish. I waited this long to realize how much you truly meant to me and to realize how close I was to losing you completely.  
  
"Gomen, koishii . . . gomen for taking so long to come to my senses . . ." So close. He'd almost lost her. He'd have to remember to thank Yamada-san later. "No more games, anata . . . I promise." My angel, my savior. Kami- sama must be watching over me to have blessed me with this chance at redemption again. Arigatou. And Sanosuke . . . I was wrong . . . you know a lot more than you let on, my friend . . .  
  
Kenshin pulled back slightly and brushed away the leftover tears clinging to Kaoru's eyelashes. "Kaoru, look at me." Obediently, the young woman silently gazed up at him, still clinging onto his gi, for fear that she would wake up from this unrealistic dream. "Don't be afraid. I won't run away anymore. Aishiteru. I love you so much." Having said that, he cupped her face and tilted her head towards his, drawing her closer before engaging his beloved in the tenderest kiss he could manage.  
  
It was a kiss that said it all.  
  
The pain. The suffering. The tears. The joy. And most importantly, the pure love they mutually shared for each other.  
  
Kaoru was left breathless as she was released and pulled once more into the loving arms of the man she had waited for so long. They stood there for several minutes, just enjoying the company of one another before Kaoru remembered about the ceremony. "Oh Kenshin, the wedding ceremony! I have to go tell everyone it's been canceled!" She began to hurry in the direction of the area where all her friends were waiting but was tugged backwards by a smiling rurouni. The question in her blue eyes was answered with a mischievous twinkle in his own gentle eyes. This is the perfect opportunity . . .  
  
"I wasn't aware that the ceremony had been canceled . . . were you?" Kaoru's eyes grew wide in disbelief and then understanding.  
  
"Kenshin . . . " You would do this for me? For us?  
  
"Hai, koishii. Come, let's go pledge our love to one another and make it official." Taking her hand, the ex-swordsman led his soon to be wife around the corner, where the couple were met with loud cheers and whistles from their friends.  
  
It would be a celebration to last a lifetime. 


	8. Forever

=Disclaimer= I do not own any of the characters from Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
----------------------------- Epilogue -----------------------------  
  
He laid there on his futon, gazing tenderly at the sleeping beauty residing in his arms. She was exhausted from the celebration they had had with their friends. It was official. They were pronounced husband and wife, no longer needing to be secretive about their feelings towards each other for the sake of Kaoru's reputation. There was no turning back. He promised he wouldn't push her away anymore, and he would keep his word. There was no way he would ever risk another chance at losing his angel again, never.  
  
Imagining life without his Kaoru, seemed impossible to even think about. All those tears and pain he'd caused her . . . Kenshin silently vowed he'd make up for it, even if it took him a lifetime. Right now, he was just content with watching over his beloved. How perfectly she fit into his arms, and how right it felt to be with her like this.  
  
No regrets. None. He hoped Kaoru felt the same way. As if on cue, Kaoru stirred and burrowed against the warmth that the rurouni provided. The soft chuckle caused the young woman to peer up at her husband with sleepy blue eyes. "Nani?" Came the mumbled question.  
  
"Kawaii desu." Kenshin caressed her delicate features with the tips of his fingertips as he smiled whole heartedly. Kaoru closed her eyes, wrapping her slender arms around his waist and sighed happily. "Kaoru?"  
  
"Hmm?" She responded with another sigh as their lips met in a gentle endearing kiss. Kenshin held her closer, trailing a line of kisses along her jaw, to her neck and finally stopping at the base of her throat. Sneaking a glance at his sleepy wife, he saw that her face was bathed in bliss and decided to continue his sweet administrations. Taking his time, Kenshin worshipped every inch of the silky ivory skin he came in contact with, and was soon rewarded by a low purr of contentment. "Please don't stop, anata." So his Kaoru was now wide awake, was she? Teasingly, he leaned down and brushed his mouth against hers.  
  
"Greedy aren't we, koishii?" She pouted up at him.  
  
"Mou, Kenshin! You shouldn't start something you don't plan on finishing!" Kenshin scooped her up into his lap and flashed her a mischievious smile, whispering in her ear.  
  
"Maa maa, Kaoru-chan. Whoever said I wasn't going to finish what I started?" Kaoru began to frown. "I was only waiting for you to wake up." Cupping his face in her hands, Kaoru took the initiative and kissed him. Her arms wrapped around Kenshin's neck as he pressed deeper into their embrace. They had all the time in the world with nothing to barricade their exploration of marital bliss. There was nothing to hold them back, nothing to keep them from being with one another.  
  
All they ever needed was each other.  
  
"Aishiteru, Kaoru." Taking her hand, Kenshin placed it over his bare chest. "My heart beats for you and only you." Kaoru's wonderful blue eyes shimmered with unspoken love and tears as she gazed up into her husband's eyes.  
  
"Aishiteru Kenshin." A smile broke over her face as she noticed the amber specks surfacing within the wide orbs of violet. "I'm all yours."  
  
If only she knew what the simplicity of those few words did to him . . .  
  
She belonged solely to him.  
  
Always would.  
  
As he to her.  
  
** Author's Note ** Minna-san, I hope that this is better than my previous attempts. I know several people have suggested a lemon, but I am not any good at writings those, so if anyone wants to write one, feel free to go ahead. Hope this was satisfying enough. Jaa ne! ^__^ 


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